Day 61: Dehydrated Brain
When you’re sound asleep on a summer’s night and it took you forever to get to sleep because of the heat but you finally do except two hours later you have a muscle spasm that shoots through your leg and puts you into unbelievable pain and you remembered that you didn’t have any water once you got home and you’re extremely dehydrated and now your body is teaching you a life lesson and then it fades but you feel it for the rest of the day and you drink water constantly since you’re scared of yourself and what might happen if you don’t obey your brain. Tomorrow’s A Different Day.
Day 62: The Kids Table
When it’s a big family get together and you sit at that table after long years of eating at the kids table and you know you’ve earned your spot, but then your cousins who have little kids immediately get fast tracked to the main table and you can’t believe what your seeing and you realize just how spoiled kids are nowadays and don’t understand the struggle that is eating quietly and alone at a little side table beside everyone else, and no one else seems to notice or even remember the disciplinary power a kids table once had. Tomorrow’s A Different Day.
Day 63: M.E.T Gala
It’s the biggest night of your life, some how and some way you get invited to the Met Gala and you spend all day shopping with your parents because your parents always said you were cool so you trusted there opinion, and when you finally arrive at the event you push your way onto the red carpet as security hesitates to stop you and every media representatives gasps as everyone wants an interview and you approach one of them and they ask what you’re wearing and it’s your big moment and you say Walmart two for one, and everything goes silent and you realize the striped shirt and denim jeans wasn’t as cool as you once believed but you become the highlight of the night and you seem to make everyone laugh and two hours in you start to realize that this isn’t the Monday Enjoyment Training Gala and you wasted 300 dollars on a ticket for the gala you aren’t even attending, and you spend the rest of your night upset, and this is why you hate Mondays. Tomorrow’s A Different Day.
Day 64: Just Take Me Away Officer
When everything has gone wrong and the police were called and you figure their is a good chance you’ll be arrested and when they show up they start writing up the situation and then the one officer looks at you and says that there calling your parents, and you immediately get on your knees and plead with them to just take you away, because you know that if your Mother hears about this you have a better chance at surviving in jail then at home, as her famous saying echoes in your head “If you ever get arrested just go with the police because if I get my hands on you, you’ll be wishing that you were in jail because at least they can try and stop me there and those metal bars might be the only thing that save your life” It shivers down your spine as you stop waiting for the cops and just get in the backseat by yourself and close the door and wait for the officers to take you away, and they suddenly become fearful as well, knowing that this simple candy bar theft could quickly become a full on murder. Tomorrow’s A Different Day.
Day 65: Ad Attention
When it’s early morning and you’re on a computer just surfing the internet and you click on one and you start to scroll through it and then you suddenly hear an ad play that is ten times louder then anything you’ve ever heard before and you rush to find a way to close it only to fumble with everything and end up throwing the mouse twenty feet across the room, and it just wont stop because it’s a seven minute ad and all while your parents are still sleeping and when you finally close it you think you’re in the clear, but then you suddenly hear the heavy footsteps of one of them and you know you’re about to get an ear full and you kinda wish you could use the ad to overpower them, except that ship has sailed and some young entrepreneur has just screwed up a perfectly good Saturday morning. Tomorrow’s A Different Day.
Day 66: Emotionless Response
When you find out someone had a crush on you but because of a conversation through text and making a joke that doesn’t sound like a joke involving superhero movies only to find out months later that, that was a a red flag, and the burning desire they once had for you is now just ash, and you can’t help but wonder if you dodged a bullet with that said individual because of the fact that something so small could affect there outlook so much. Tomorrow’s A Different Day.
Day 67: Religious Sins
When you find yourself in Georgia for a fiddle recital and you come to a crossroads on some back streets and you’re conveniently listening to the Devil Went Down to Georgia and you stop the car and you wonder if you should attempt to sell your soul because of the embarrassment you just suffered at the recital, because little did you know that playing The Number Of The Beast wasn’t an appropriate song choice for the christian rock category because you only saw the word rock and that was all you needed. Tomorrow’s A Different Day.
Day 68: 90’s TV Technician
When you’re parents TV’s back light fries itself and there’s no longer picture but yet there’s sound, and they’re slowly starting to lose their minds a bit, so then you get a call at eleven twenty at night and you’re already half asleep but they need this now so you drive over only to find yourself staying the night because they look at you like you should be some sort of TV technician because you’re thirty years younger and everyone born int he 90′s is believed to know how to fix a TV at first glance, but you soon learn it’s not fixable so you bring yours over until they can get a new one and you only played games on it occasionally so it’s not to big of a loss. Tomorrow’s A Different Day.
Day 69: Moving On
It’s the number 69…I think that’s all that needs to be said. Tomorrow’s A Different Day.
Day 70: Forbidden Love
When you’re in the store as a kid, and you see your crush with their parents and they all happen to be friends, so you’ve never made any attempt in starting a relationship even though you wanted to and the last time you willed up the courage they started dating someone two days later before you even saw them again and could ask, so alas you sit on the side lines and wonder just so it doesn’t make things weird for your parents and their friends. Tomorrow’s A Different Day.
Day 71: Stuck In The Basement Forever
When it’s that wondrous time of year again called Mother’s Day and you ask you mother or whoever you have in your life what they’d like, and they tell you that just flowers would be nice and you can’t argue with that, so you go out and buy some and you bring them back and you realize that, that’s a pretty good deal for letting you live in the basement plus the small amount of rent you’re charged until the day you die since you never plan to leave. Tomorrow’s A Different Day.
Day 72: Not Everything Is Scripted
When you happen to switch channels and it happens to be a night that scripted wrestling is on and you see the warning ‘don’t try this at home’ pop up and you can’t help but think after watching a few minutes that you could probably do that so you climb up on the ottoman in front of your couch and then you jump off and wind yourself when your stomach smacks against the couch edge in a failed attempt at a dive, and you realize your thirty five year old self doesn’t recover as quickly as it used to, and your significant other finds you writhing on the floor in pain and says “you watched wrestling again didn’t you.” Tomorrow’s A Different Day.
Day 73: Ice Locker
When it’s so warm outside that you stay inside all day, in a dark room with a fan going and you create your own personal ice locker and sit in isolation while debating what to do with your life. Tomorrow’s A Different Day.
Day 74: Lobster In An Infinity Chair
When the weather is nice and warm that you could probably be tanning, and you go outside only to find your father fully reclined in an infinity chair in shorts and his shirt tied up in a Daisy Duke like style and you can’t help but vomit a little in your mouth at the sight of it, and you slowly back away and pray that he didn’t hear you come out in the first place, then four hours later he comes back in and they’re completely burnt like a lobster and you watch as your mother applies some aloe vera to their burns and they wince in pain and you can’t help but laugh since you feel this is karma for scarring you mentally. Tomorrow’s A Different Day.
Day 75: 2000’s Style
When you hit that retro MTV music video phase and you start to get the nostalgic feeling, that was the way all music videos should have been made and you start to go into an early 2000′s music bender only to finally leave your room wearing a bunch of heavy eye liner and you punk styled clothes that are nearly bursting at the seams and are screaming to be taken off but it’s to late as you take the first step up the stairs in your house and the skin tight leather pants that are three sizes to small cant take it and make a horrendous ripping sound and basically explode off you as your kids watch in horror as you mentally scar them. Tomorrow’s A Different Day.
Day 76: Footlong
When you accidentally text your crush something that you were going to text your mom, and you didn’t notice the names on the top since it’s been a long day at school and you immediately start to panic so you fire offer a couple more text messages only to get a simple ‘lol it’s fine’ but then a minute passes and then you get another text message that says ‘I like foot longs to lol jk’ and your dirty teenage mind gets the better of you and you start to blush and you struggle to order from Subway ever again because of this. Tomorrow’s A Different Day.
Day 77: Whirlwind Of Nasty
When you’re growing up and you dream about being an astronaut and you think about all the excitement it brings you so you ask your parents to buy you an orange jumpsuit and with sharpie you write NASA on it with a backward S and then you sit in the spinning chair at the desk with the computer on it and you start spinning yourself as fast as you can until you lose control of all your bodily functions in a whirlwind of nasty that you fully intend for your parents to clean up. Tomorrow’s A Different Day.
Day 78: Why Did You Cross The Street
When you’re about to cross the road and you think to yourself that today you’ll be a rebel and throw away everything you ever held dear and you hope for the best and you cross the street without looking both ways, only to take a sigh of relief when you get to the other side but now your sweating bullets because you were so scared to cross the old service road that has been overgrown by weeds and hasn’t been used in years and the last time it saw any action was in 1919 when old wagons crossed it, and you’re parents watch from the car because to you this was a big moment, but now you’re to scared to cross it again to get back to the car. Tomorrow’s A Different Day.
Day 79: Deciding What’s Important
When you’re self employed and trying to figure out life, but a long weekend is on the horizon and you have to make a decision whether you want to sleep in for a third day to recharge or if you’re going to continue to get up early like normal as the world sleeps around you, and taking the second option you feel a sense of serenity in the early morning hours and you also get to witness the sunrise that illuminates the sky with mystical pink and orange colours, and it only motivates you to keep chasing your dreams. Tomorrow’s A Different Day.
Day 80: Lightning Never Strikes Twice
When a thunderstorm rages on outside and you can’t help but listen to ‘singing in the rain’ but that doesn’t tide you over, and you choose to go out and dance around in the rain for a bit, even though it’s a torrential downpour and after gaining up the courage you run outside then before you can even make a singing in the rain joke another crack of thunder rips open the sky and a flash of lightning follows close after and together they deafen and blind you while you feel the heat from the lightning rush over your body and you immediately run back inside and realize that you could have just died and you will never attempt to sing in the rain again in fear that a higher power might smite you. Tomorrow’s A Different Day.
Day 81: Glasses Dilemma
When you’re glasses suddenly break late at night and you have no way of fixing them so you sit there with only one nose piece thing as you’re parent tells you they’ll try to make an appointment for you and you spend the night stressing out because you have to adult and it leads to you having some psychedelic stress dreams during the night that surprising manage to relax you but then you wake up and you quickly remember that you aren’t the supreme ruler of the shadow dimension. Tomorrow’s A Different Day.
Day 82: School’s Internal Screams
When you find yourself screaming internally because of the way life is treating you and you think you’re being quiet but your teacher turns and looks at the class and says “who ever is humming can you please stop,” and you start to feel embarrassed when suddenly the whole class breaks out into a choir of internal screams and you realize your not alone and even the teacher joins in, and you try to make a beat out of it to see if you can start a choir of internal screams and the next thing you know you’re all screaming it’s a small world. Tomorrow’s A Different Day.
Day 83: The Cult Of Stick Figures
When you’re in art class and it’s your final project and it’s a self portrait, only you struggle to be artistic so when the time comes to get your project back you get an F because your stick man is the furthest thing that looks like you and you look at the teacher and tell them that they clearly missed what your artistic vision was and they can’t fail you because art is all about interpretation, so as long as you participate you should pass, and because of your wise cracks you get a detention but to pass some of the time you start playing hang man which is only stick figures, and it makes you realize that stick figures have a cult like following. Tomorrow’s A Different Day.
Day 84: Man Of The House
When you are the only one that doesn’t have a fear of spiders and your being babysat by a mother with three daughters who all have a horrific fear of them, so you’re eight year old self has to step up and be the man of the house and kill the spider for them to which you’re successful and they hold you in high praise as if you’re a hero but you can’t stop thinking about how that spider will never see his family again, except that doesn’t last long as your ego gets boosted to hero status. Tomorrow’s A Different Day.
Day 85: Photographic Soul
That moment you take your first selfie and you look at it and you don’t know if this is the start of something, but then you take another and then another and the next thing you know all your data in your phone has been used and you go to delete them but you’re hoarding sense kicks in and you can’t part with any of the two thousand photos, because they all feel like they’re a part of your soul. Tomorrow’s A Different Day.
Day 86: Heat Waves
When you find yourself outside walking in sweltering heat and it becomes a struggle to just lift your legs, and you fall to your knees and thankfully land on the grass, and you realize that these might be your final moments and you’ve been out here for hours and your survival skills aren’t what they used to be and you look back and you see your house right there beside you and suddenly you realize you’ve only been outside for a minute and you didn’t even take five steps so you get the mental capacity to get back up and walk inside and isolate yourself in the darkness of your room and you wait for the heat wave to end. Tomorrow’s A Different Day.
Day 87: Introverted Massage
When you go get your haircut and you awkwardly sit there as they cut your hair and as an introvert you don’t really know how to start up a conversation so it feels like an awkward interaction but yet you find some comfort in having your head massaged and that’s when you realize that this will be the closest you’ll ever come to being a cat or a dog or any other pet able animal. Tomorrow’s A Different Day.
Day 88: Lack Of Charge
When you set two alarms to help you make up in the morning, only to abruptly learn that in the morning, your phone charger wasn’t plugged in and now your phone is dead and the clock radio suffered a power outage and now you’ve overslept and you missed the royal wedding again, and instead have to watch the high lights which is basically the abridged version of everything and you’re back in bed ten minutes later, only to forget that you didn’t set your actual alarm on your clock radio or your phone. Tomorrow’s A Different Day.
Day 89: Another One Bites The Dust
When your Mom gets fired from her job because her employers would much rather keep their kids working there who have far less seniority and the only reason they’re there is because they can’t work anywhere else because of their pathetic work ethic’s, so the fires that were already started now continue to burn and the owners may have just ignited something that will consume their whole operation, all because of family, thankfully another corrupt company will bite the dust. Tomorrow’s A Different Day.
Day 90: Not What I Thought
When you’re a young kid and your teacher asks you to write about what your parents do and you write that they work on a computer and that one day you’d like to do the same thing, only to find out that when you grow up that your parents have very little knowledge about computers and really only understand Email and how to turn the computer on and that you were the chosen one that would learn how to truly use the computer. Tomorrow’s A Different Day.