Day 181: Dirty Car
When your cousin’s parents have a dinner they feel like is more important then picking up their own kid and there S/O from the airport, so they drop your cousins car off at your place, and you get in and the pungent smell of toddler, gym bag sweat, and pure utter sick barrages your nose, and two bottles of Febreeze later and a hazmat suit, you pick them up still in the hazmat suit and you can’t help but wonder what the people around you must be thinking as you load the bags in their trunk. Tomorrow’s A Different Day.
Day 182: Think Outside The Box
When your parents say think outside the box, so you go out to the recycling bin and pull a box out and then sit beside it and stare, and your parents can’t help but wonder if your just an idiot, or your a secret genius, but then you climb in, and you realize that with imagination the box can be anything you want, and your parents realize you’re just stupid for a twenty-seven years old. Tomorrow’s A Different Day.
Day 183: Seven vs Forty Plus
When a seven-year-old takes on a forty-plus-year-old in a debate regarding Religion & Evolution, and the seven-year-old makes the forty-year-old break down because they’re struggling to defend their religious ideology and the seven-year-old doesn’t understand the problem or why they’re not getting ice cream anymore. Tomorrow’s A Different Day.
Day 184: Dinosaurs Are Badass
When your uncle is massively religious, and his explanation for dinosaur’s existence is that the bones were put in the ground by a higher power, to make people think about a impossibilities, and yet you can’t help but wonder who has time for something like that, like was it the intern deities job or something, at the end of the day though it doesn’t really matter because Dinosaurs are badass. Tomorrow’s A Different Day.
Day 185: Hey
When you say Hey, and your parents look at you and say, Hay is for horses, and you can barely contain your enthusiasm…not. Tomorrow’s A Different Day.
Day 186: Relate To The Students
That night right before you start the new year of school and you can’t sleep because you’re so excited for the new school year, but as soon as you enter the doors that feeling of dread returns and you realize that you don’t actually want to be there, as much as the kids don’t want to be there. Tomorrow’s A Different Day.
Day 187: Business In The Morning
When you learn about world finances because your teacher threatened you with daily pop quizzes to the point that the classroom practically becomes the New York stock exchange at eight in the morning. Tomorrow’s A Different Day.
Day 188: Wrong Year
When you opt out of doing school work in class to watch a rocket launch, even though you’re not a science kid, you have to wonder if this was what it was like back during the first launch and that maybe you were just born in the wrong year. Tomorrow’s A Different Day.
Day 189: Group Chat
When you and the people in your class start a group chat, and then the one person in your group chat starts talking about hipster fashion and the next thing you know you’re doing one of those dressing room montages from the movies, and you reflect to wonder how you got to this point. Tomorrow’s A Different Day.
Day 190: Wrong Lyrics
When you think the words in Elton John’s song Tiny Dancer are “hold me closer Tony Danza,” and you and the rest of your classmates are singing that at the school dance, that the teacher then start to question, if they’ve been wrong this whole time and some spiral into a mid-life crisis while others laugh their butts off. Tomorrow’s A Different Day.
Day 191: Trampoline
When your friend has a trampoline and asks if you want to come over and hop on the tramp only to connect the dots later in life since it sounded like you and your friend jumped on poor people, and you never go on a trampoline again. Tomorrow’s A Different Day.
Day 192: Hold On And Never Let Go
When you’re cutting your cat’s toy nails, and you have them laid out on the ground with a bag of treats close by but you start doing their back feet, and they persist until they can’t take it anymore and trap you in a reverse bear trap and start to gnaw on your arm and you just accept your fate as your parent sits there and watches you suffer, only to step in when they think you’ve learned your lesson. Tomorrow’s A Different Day.
Day 193: Baby Mistakes
When you’re just a little baby maybe two or three years old and have just learned how to walk, and on TV you see these people riding animals so you try it and attempt to ride the fourteen-year-old cat, and that’s the last mistake you’ll ever make. Tomorrow’s A Different Day.
Day 194: Mandala Effect
When you can’t remember how Berenstain bears is spelt, after learning about the mandala effect, and you can’t help but wonder what else was a lie during your life. Tomorrow’s A Different Day.
Day 195: Electrical Safety
When people suggest you do electrotherapy to release your muscle tension, but you took an electrical safety course and every time you put your knee on the ground your instructor would yell your dead, and that all you can think about whenever you hear any words that involve electricity. Tomorrow’s A Different Day.
Day 196: Cheesecake
When you learn that there is more than one style of cheesecake, and in doing so discover Japanese cheesecake, and you suddenly find yourself wanting to try something new, as your cheesecake senses continue to tingle. Tomorrow’s A Different Day.
Day 197: Dreaded Forecast
When you see snow in the forecast, and you realize that summer is over and those horrible months are about to return, so you spend the night crying as the world turns a sterile white. Tomorrow’s A Different Day.
Day 198: Cold Car
When you’re going on a road trip, and you don’t realize that it’s nearly freezing out, and you’re still wearing shorts, but your parents call you out and tell you to put on pants, but you stay adamant and brave through it, only to immediately freeze when you get in the car. Tomorrow’s A Different Day.
Day 199: Frolicking
When the trees are turning colour and start to fall from the tree and your walking down the sidewalk as a wall of leaves dance in the air and in your mind you see yourself frolicking gracefully through it, only in reality it’s far less graceful, and you end up pulling pieces of leaves out of your mouth that you’re not really sure how they got in there. Tomorrow’s A Different Day.
Day 200: Listen Here!
When you’re having a quiet night at home, just watching TV when all of a sudden you hear your mother upstairs yell Listen here mister, this may be your only chance to go out tonight, so get going and you’re an only child and your father’s right beside you and that when you realize she’s yelling at the cat and you can’t help but want to see how it’s going to play out. Tomorrow’s A Different Day.
Day 201: Where Are They?
When you’re sitting in your room, and you suddenly hear one of your parents call out asking where your other parent is and you sit there and wonder how they missed each other since there’s only one staircase and they have to literally pass each other to get from one part of the house to the other. Tomorrow’s A Different Day.
Day 202: Forgetful
When you’re going shopping, and you get in your car and realize you don’t have your wallet, so you go back in and get it, and then you try to start your car, and only after three attempts you realize you forgot your keys, so you go back in the house a second time and as you grab your keys you wonder what else you may have forgotten, that instead of actually going back out you just lock your car and do something else because you figure that way if you forget something your neighbours don’t have to watch you go into your house multiple times. Tomorrow’s A Different Day.
Day 203: Driving Trucks
When you’re driving behind a truck on a two-lane hallway and an ambulance is coming up behind you, so the truck immediately stop and pulls over to the side as everyone nearly collides with them and the ambulance simply goes through the empty laneway, and you wonder if the reason people drive trucks isn’t for helping their friends move and instead its just because they don’t pay enough attention to the road, so they feel more protects, but then you see the truck nuts hanging off the hitch, and you realize they’re just an idiot. Tomorrow’s A Different Day.
Day 204: Men In Trucks
When you’re friend points out to you only men drive trucks, and surprisingly they’re right nine out of ten times, and you can never unsee that, and years later you still catch yourself looking. Tomorrow’s A Different Day.
Day 205: Get Rich Quick
When your parents get, rich quick scheme is to open a franchise of RV storage places, because as your father describes it, it’s just fence and concrete, and as an inexperienced individual in the RV storage business you can’t really argue. Tomorrow’s A Different Day.
Day 206: Cha-Cha Slide
When the Cha-Cha Slide comes on, and everyone stops what they’re doing because they’re preparing to get funky, and you wonder if that song alone could create world peace if all the world leaders were in a room together. Tomorrow’s A Different Day.
Day 207: I Can Hold It
When you go to a national park and you really need to use the washroom so you go to the little outhouse building, and you open the door, and on the other side you see a bear sitting on the toilet playing with toilet paper and you simply stare at it, and it stares at you and you slowly close the door and decide that you can hold it. Tomorrow’s A Different Day.
Day 208: Elders & Teens
With the current way technology is going soon we’ll have a watch capable of administrating an AED, tell your location and be able to call for help if you fall down and your immobilized sounds to me that these devices will be perfect for elderly citizens and teenagers who can’t hold their alcohol. Tomorrow’s A Different Day.
Day 209: Beef Crew
When you’re out camping, and you’re cooking up some meat and a crew of four giant cows show up and glare at you, and you realize this may be a sign of a higher power that you need more vegetables in your life. Tomorrow’s A Different Day.
Day 210: Cougars
When you’re a tourist in a new place, and you go on a road trip and just so happen to get to see a cougar on the side of the road, don’t go near it just admire it from afar because if you get close that’s how they take your kids, also don’t go near the big dangerous cats who share the same name. Tomorrow’s A Different Day.